Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Anthony's LiveJournal:

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Friday, February 2nd, 2007
11:47 pm	I wrote this on wednesday, before I went to sleep, kind of from anywhere I know a long time had passed, since pain had ceased absence of questions one would ask, riding the train offered peace serenity and solace found in music, while gazing at the beautiful landscape cherishing the ability to use it, and get lost in sound and escape realising not to live in a dream, but to live for a dream marked by those gone before us, those that had once been we may not know the answer know, and be frustrated to understand but patience and a clear mind, in time will unveil the true plan (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 5th, 2007
12:55 am	To recap and highlight what had happened from the last time I posted to now DECEMBER 14 - 06 Today was a mass meet up of DDR players from the north and south, but I felt that I was talking more to HDan than to any of the guys at Marion. Although I did speak to Dan since he arrived earlier than the rest, and that was fun. Gabbie gave me Birthday/Christmas Present, wouldn't open it till I get home. One thing interesting to note, is that once everyone was down that would was coming, just to show what area is like. Evan and Dan were playing ITG, and someone threw a random object at them, and through confusion there was verbal attacks between them and Evan's girlfriend Kahli, lead to a fight eventually. After the fight was broken up I said bye to everyone, and I was wondering if it would deter them from ever coming to Elizabeth again. DECEMBER 15 It was quite cold the night before, and my stomach wasn't feeling that great, and I didn't sleep well that night. Regardless I went to Andrew's in the afternoon, but really had no appetite to eat anything. Apart from that I felt ok, and basically just hung out with him till about midnight. DECEMBER 16 I still didn't feel good today, but I did have breakfast and lunch. I went to Andrew's and then we went to pick up Marc, then go eat. I had Golden Rooster, but no appetite again, so I ate it half assed. Then we played Table Tennis online, that was quite funny, I don't know why I was winning but I was. DECEMBER 17 I woke up in the middle of the night and my stomach really hurt, but I was too tired to stay awake. When I got up, I felt like shit, muscles ached, head was pounding, I was very tired. My stomach felt like lots needles were being pressed in, I felt like really needed to go to the toilet even though I had been, and it hurt like hell and what was surprising was that it hurt on my left side, and it's been a year since the kidney transplant. I didn't go to church, I just went back to sleep, and for most of the day, I didn't eat much, and I couldn't find a comfortable position anywhere. DECEMBER 18 So the first thing in the morning I went to my GP, and had it checked out. He said it was just a nasty viral infection and gave me a prescription for medicine, but to be on the safe side, have an xray and a blood test done immediately. Off to Central Districts, and everything was done quickly, surprised with that we went home. I took the medication and was feeling better, all the aches from the yesterday were gone except the stomach pains, but they were much more bearable. Back to the doctors, and he was happy that everything turned out fine, and said if the stomach pains increase go to a hospital straight away, if it stays the same I have to go to a specialist. I was feeling better and eating, so I was happy about that. DECEMBER 19 I woke up and I was feeling fantastic, it felt like a long time ago, but it was good none the less. When I had lunch today, I couldn't finish my plate, and I think my stomach isn't used to so much food considering the past week, I ate as much as I could. I went to the plaza, played ITG, that felt strange but good, stomach having some bits of pain here and there but nothing serious. DECEMBER 20 Hung out with Hari today, also Callan made the trip down too, so it was very reminiscent of tilt days. Hari has some strong determination to be good at DDR/ITG again, and so he was playing quite a bit. Callan just wanted to try some songs he never got to play, and I was feeling much better. Small medication, but probably very potent, still though at the time I never thought the sharp stabbing pains would ever go away. DECEMBER 21 Christmas shopping today, and I bought a shirt and pants. Got Subway for lunch, I can always eat a foot long, but I got to the end today and couldn't finish it. The control box for my Dance Pad arrived, but I didn't bother checking it. I went to meet up with Hari again today, he enjoyed yesterday very much so we were back again. Later on I saw Trish, Shane and Josh, and again I didn't play, just watching. Josh said something stupid comment to me about getting good, like I was shit at the game now, well I am not awesome but I am not crap, but whatever. Andrew came over and I tested the Dance Pad to see how it is, and it's very good. DECEMBER 22 So I decided to have a real good test out the Dance Pad this morning, and I was really satisfied with it. After Dinner I went to Andrew's and we just hung out talking, and watching random tv shows. DECEMBER 23 After lunch I went to Radio Rental's with Andrew, and he bought a massive TV, and decided to give his one to his parents. We went and picked up Marc and then Jason came round and we played Ice Hockey on the Xbox. DECEMBER 24 Quiet day apart from going to church in the morning. DECEMBER 25 We saw the neighbours at church, and afterwards we invited them over for a drink. We went to sis's house for lunch, and baby Clare is aware of what's going on around. It was actually quite nice to be spending it with sis' in-laws, everything turned out well. DECEMBER 26 I played some more on my dance pad, man this hot weather doesn't help shit. I went to Andrew's and there we just were searching and downloading songs, since he said that he was nowhere near his limit of downloads for the month, and thought I should make use. DECEMBER 27 Hari came over so he could see the Cobalt flux dance pad and give it a go. He had dinner with us, and then we decided to go see the Bond movie Casino Royale. Surprisingly, it was far better than I expected, since the advertisments didn't do it justice. DECEMBER 28 I went to the plaza today, no particular reason, just to be out of the house I guess. DECEMBER 29 Callan came over so could also see the dance pad, and we spent time talking. He stayed for dinner before leaving to go home. DECEMBER 30 Bro and I went to town, and we went to palace cinemas to watch a movie called Babel. As the name suggests, it revolves around multiple languages, with related stories, executed well. DECEMBER 31 Bro and I went to the movies again today, this time to see Night at the museam. Bro and I watched rap videos until midnight, and then went outside to see all the fireworks nearby. I will continue this another time (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 12th, 2006
11:13 pm	Thankyou your Highness I spent the day watching The A Team and Quantum Leap with bro, while copying more DVD's. I went around to Andrew's at night to give him company while he practices his Piano pieces. He told me that due to many exterior influences, he realised that when Madeline decided to break up, it was for real. He says that if she really does have any feelings for him, that in half a years time she might be back. Andrew wants to get Simon to come along to Funkshop vs Therapy this friday at Tonic, I am still skeptical. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 26th, 2006
11:27 pm	relaxing Feeling kind of strange, I was going to opt to go to the later service at church, but I was too awake at that point. My stomach felt like knives were running through it, the entire time. They dropped me home as they were on their way to the hospital, I started to feel better when I started walking around. I just started to work on an assignment, and took a break at lunch time. Andrew rang and came over about early evening, and so I stopped work on the assignment. I asked why he was over, since he said that he was going to training, but he had done it earlier in the day. We drove to the video store, Andrew is making use of cheap vouchers. Then we came back, but he decided to go home and play piano. (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 8th, 2005
12:05 am	Yo yo 1. tell me something obvious about you. 2. tell me something about you that many don't know. 3. what is your biggest fear? 4. do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut? 5. name one thing you want that you can't buy with money. 6. what is your most treasured possession? 7. what is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often? 8. tell me something sexually about you that i don't know. 9. tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows. 10. what is your favourite lie to tell? 11. name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again. 12. are you the jealous type? 13. what is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to? 14. what is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you? 15. if you could do something crazy right now, what would it be? 16. when was the last time you cried? 17. when was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered? 18. do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on? 19. name something embarrassing you did while being drunk. 20. if you post this in your journal would you like me to answer it? (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 5th, 2005
11:41 pm	Reflections on Life Well after that eating fest, my stomach was in the most appalling shape. Anyway I read into what is up with my stomach and I scared myself. I took the urine bottle back to IMVS, and saw a doc who said that, what I read was true. Just to be on the safe side, prescribed me some medication, as preventative measure to getting an ulcer or something worse. Unable to really do much, I handed in my assignment in to Tafe, but didn't stay. Got home and rang up our phone company to have it ready to change it over when we move on thursday. I lay in bed and just thought about my life up to this point, and reading people's LJ had me thinking, so I will share with you. It is very true, sorry isn't the hardest word, it never is. Being denied the chance to say sorry, before someone leaves and say goodbye, that is hard. I know it's hard, and I refused to even accept that my mother would die. I am so mad at myself that I never got to say goodbye to her, and let her know although I didn't say it, just how much I did love her. There are certain things in life that only a mother would be able to tell me, but who could help being an idiotic teenager. I mean she asked for a glass of water just the day before, and I had an argument over that, why? would I. Who would have known, that having to go to hospital would lead me to one the best friends I could of ever had, who I loved so much I became part of. Highschool was all fun, but towards the end the friendship was blooming. We would hang out on the weekends, she taught me how to draw a certain way, I taught her how to knit. She was just a friend, but I fought for her, when she was in trouble, just to be told "are you her boyfriend?". I took this in such a wrong fashion, and told Anna to leave me and never come back, since I was felt overburdened and really wasn't my own person. A friend like that, how much love to have to respect my choice and back away. Then my mother passed away and we had moved house, and so I lost so many friends when I needed them the most. Anna came in search of me, she checked up my friends, checked all the people I knew, until she found out where I was. Unexpected knock at the door, and I was so surprised, I thought my idiocy caused me another loss. She was sorry at my mothers loss, and I was so sorry for the harsh comments, but was still shocked that she would chance it. The fact that it took her months to track me down, showed me that her love for me as a friend, was unconditional and I was a fool not to see it. I went to a party with her once, and I was attacked for my beliefs, but she stood up for me, when no one else did, the gang up was so strong I passed out. I woke up and she was by my bed holding my hand, and realised I had been out for 4hours and she had been there the whole time. This made me think about our friendship more and more, and maybe there is something more than friendship. For as long as I could remember, she wanted to go to USA, and she finally got her chance 2 years ago. It was at this point that I realised, she made me who I am, I usually don't function right if I didn't know what she was doing. I had to tell her how I felt, and when I got the courage to do so, she already knew what I was going to say. She was crying because she wanted to hear me say those words for so long. She went to USA, but came back quickly, because she couldn't stand being away for so long. To me there was no need for adjustments, we had known each other for 10 years, there was nothing we didn't know about each other. Although now, our conversations would last for so long, I mean I was just in awe to be there where she was, and just to look at her, I could spend days and still not describe in words the beauty that I can see. I was so blessed for her to be in a part of my life. Then late last year, I noticed something wrong, so I had to find out. She said that she didn't feel anything for me anymore, and after 10 years I know what's a lie and what is not. However I let loose, since I knew she had to know. I just told her all the things she did, did they ever mean anything to her, why would she seek me out, why come back from USA, didn't that mean a thing. I had to respect her choice, she respected my choice, so just showed her the same courtesy. I felt bad, but nothing I could really do, without making it worse, so I just let it go. I continued on with life, but that thought always in the back of my mind, I knew what she said was not true, but how could I be certain. The less I thought about it the better, and in time it wasn't so bad. Then as you know couple of weeks back, she came back and told me that it was a lie, but the only way for her to have some space. She realised it was stupid, but she thinks it helped, caused her pain as did me. Then a few days later she was out of my life, but this time it was for real. I made a promise to myself that I would tell people what I thought before they left me, but again I was denied this chance. I mean I wanted to tell her the impact she made on my life, so profound and unique. One of the most happiest and thoughtful of persons I have ever known, always made me smile even when I knew things weren't all good. I gave her my heart, and she taught me how to love, and now she is gone, and I am looking for my heart. I know I will find it one day, but I guess it will be a long journey, one day at a time. Well I guess I feel ok, the medication must be doing something, as I am not in crazy pain. Unlike trying to sleep last night. Anth (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
9:38 pm	Dancin Master has returned once again I woke up and thought oh crap it's awfully quiet, and to me that means everyone has left and it's probably already 10 am. Then I looked at the clock and it was only 8 30 am, but bro was asleep. Hari came round about 11 and he and bro were talking about Star Wars, I expected from bro. It was interesting to listen to, even though I haven't seen the movie yet. Bro is like that with any movie, he is busting to tell me everything. Hari had lunch with us, which was roast chicken stuffed with onion, with rice and salad. That tasted excellent, I expect chicken soup for dinner but who knows. Anyhow off to TTP Nothing to report, other than one more AAA on DDR on Silent Hill 3rd Chris Mix, that's it. When I got home I was happy, there was chicken soup. I had 3 bowls full and 3 pieces of toast with it. I didn't stop there, I had a Banana straight after. I had a shower, then I had 3 packets of chips with a tall glass of Orange juice. whatever next dunno Anth (Comment on this)
Monday, May 23rd, 2005
9:39 pm	Only when I am dancing can I feel this free Yeah Tafe was cut short off to get a blood test for Bro. I love that nurse, I didn't feel a thing and she filled up 3 tubes and it was over before I had a clue. Thank you Nurse ^_^ I went off to the library to finish of my poem, that went very well, so quiet and peaceful. Should go there more often, *slaps self a couple of times* HIDDEN TALENTS I remember when I was without care, when I stumbled at the start but now I wouldn't dare, and I am more humble of heart I used to love to impress, one ability above the rest I felt I was accepted by the best, then i guess my feeling was less then I got too deep, and failure was the greatest fear started to lose sleep, and for what I was known for I steered clear was not strong enough, for me to ignore bad and concentrate on the good I had it long and rough, and it made me mad if I could run away I would I was hounded by family and friends, and it was pretty self explanatory with that sound, man I'll be at my wit's end, I bet everyone has heard the same story I knew it was wasted talent, but no one wanted it forced There was always a good dose of encouragement, I got sick of the attention of course only so much persistence I could take, not to be like a magic trick all hocus pocus people lost sense of me the reality at stake, on the wrong thing they focus As they grow tired and weary, I now I can go back and start again they aren't firing queries, but I stick to my word no matter the pain About my Piano playing, and my art skills However I think that's gonna change soon, hopefully In today's DDR news Anthony AAA's more songs. Haha stupid headline to a newspaper, but yeah I did but AAA 2 songs Ecstasy and Look To The Sky True Color, what makes it more funny is that I did after 3 tubes of blood was taken out, and one right after the other. Interesting A Kooky Fudge bar awaits, and I will save you some Gem if you want Anth (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
11:01 pm	Well well well I seem to like depriving myself of sleep, well whatever but I think I should get that into order. I was silent in the morning, not angry or annoyed or anything just silent. However my silence didn't work well at breakfast, Dad and bro tried to get a rise out of me. Just because I wasn't smiling, they thought there was something wrong, I wasn't frowning either. Dad got the picture, but bro is just an idiot. Church was fine, very interesting, seemed to just drift off and time passed so quickly. Got back home and played some PS2 before lunch. Sister came around, and yawn I din't bother speaking, she didn't notice this, good I don't care. Anyhow she left soon after, so did bro, and I was left to think of something. so I watched The Ten Commandments with Dad. There goes 4 hours and during that time I had a chocolate donut, a wonka Kooky Fudge bar, and a bowl of popcorn. Bro got back we had dinner, then I just did some work Anth (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 21st, 2005
9:29 pm	I can't cry anymore why? Yay saturday is here, you know what that means, it's time to clean the house. I am finished, but then I was asked to clean the front of the house, clean up the leaves and bag them. Which lead into lunch time. I rang Andrew not long after finishing eating, and so he was free at 5 pm. Like last week I bummed around salisbury until that time. I walked to his house, and sang to myself, since I didn't bring any music along with me. Time went by fairly quickly that way, I enjoyed it. It was evident that no one else was coming around, so we just watched more GTO, almost finished that now. Afterwords we started having a conversation, about usual life matters. Guess what that made me do *drum roll* start a poem. It's unfinished, so I can't post it, but I will post one I wrote to an LJ friend a while a go. FRIENDS I used to be on a mission, that was to meet new people the way I was wishing, was like putting my feet down a deep hole many outings from the house, I would turn up empty and suspicions would arouse, from girls that try to tempt me I ignore and take nothing from this, in this case stick to myself I made myself a promise, not to befriend people that need my help They will need help time and time again, and I will have no rest cause the relationship is based on their own gain, which is something I detest after meeting a select few, who like my personality I stopped and reject the new, who thought I was immersed in tragedy I wasn't at a loss, cause I started with nothing to lose there wasn't a cost, and it's not like I had something to prove It was inevitable feeling, that I would gain friendship without trying it was like I was stealing, the future and mystery myself,I had been denying It's not like I would refuse, If I was given the chance I hate to intrude, on established acquaintances in advance What will happen, is that i will be treated as a last resort out of a pack of ten, the other nine I will be passed for It is surprising, that I have been treated this way for so long my feelings I am disguising, and I have to beat this to stay strong I should have given up and stayed smart, I wouldn't have ever gotten hurt then I could have been in peace from the start, and I wouldn't feel so much like dirt I know that I am bound to get it right, anytime soon and a friendship I am vowed to let it light, so that it can really bloom. One of the most easiest poems I ever wrote, and I did it in 5 mins. Man did I eat more than I normally do in one day, lets see and I still don't see any change in my body. In the morning for breakfast I had a cup of tea and 3 pieces of toast. For lunch we had Potatoes and Meatballs in a tomato soup with Rice. About 4pm I got myself a foot long Steak Sub from Subway. At Andrew's I had crumbed Chicken fillets with coleslaw and garlic bread. Oh well sleep time, HOT DAMN Anth (Comment on this)
Friday, May 20th, 2005
10:58 pm	I feel happy, why I dunno I helped dad out in the back with cleaning up the paving after breakfast. I go to sit at my comp, and a knock at the door. Hello Gabbie and Hari ^_^ we bummed around for about half hour, then decided to go. We go to Elizabeth Shopping Centre, Gabbie had to do something for work, I had to go centrelink for my Study and so forth. After that we went of to TTP, surprise surprise. Lets go get some Mcdonalds why not hey, I get not 2 cheeseburgers GASP, no Medium Big Mac meal. I watch Hari and Gabbie play DDR, after they leave, then I decide to play. Another AAA for me on AM-3P yee haaa, I wonder what Ben would say now. After a month I finally caught up with Peter MP, seems focus on Uni has worked. Well at least someone cares about that, lol I don't. I got my cheeseburgers, you knew I couldn't resist. That was good, maybe in a month or two, might catch up again. I drank about 2 litres of water when I got home, hmmm why Shower was great, just what I needed Anth (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 19th, 2005
9:37 pm	If we took a holiday, took time time to celebrate After listening to Madonna's hits, I remember when I was young, cause it was the first songs I ever heard, I guess I would be like 3 or 4 years old but I remember them, very well at that. Finally got round to do some work for Tafe, after all this time, what is happening lol I got some Subway for lunch, go Southwest Steak and Cheese Sub oh yeah, it was funny cause I was eating it on the bus, and the way I was seated the driver could see me, and the entire time he was looking at me. It was weird. I played some DDR today, yeah and AAA Burnin the Floor, yay me but whatever, since Ben was kind enough to give me free Credits. I got home and watched some informational videos about being a potential Kidney Donor, cleared up some thoughts I had in my head. Off to have a Wonka Kooky fudge bar Anth (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
10:24 pm	I love my bed I was sleeping so well, that I didn't wake up until 9:20 in the morning. So I didn't bother with Tafe, and I almost forgot Hari was coming over. Ahhh I knew this would happen, I love my bed, not that old Piece of Shit. He came around and gave bro a DVD to watch, then we had lunch. Then we drove to TTP, Ben was working today, he seemed the exact opposite. He had about 2 hours sleep and came to work, lol shows who is more focused. Hari and Ben were talking about midnight screening of Star Wars. Then Hari left for work, I stayed for more of a chat with Ben. Yes before I got on the bus to come home, I got a cheeseburger. More Madonna for the bus ride home. Anth (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
9:27 pm	So Good Tafe was fine today, felt good about it for a change. Met up with Hari at TTP, and he said he was coming around tomorrow, I thought fair enough. I got myself 2 cheeseburgers and a coke, what is up with that now. I just love that taste I listened to Immaculate Collection, ahh so good, her voice is absolutely brilliant It's the hour for a shower Anth (Comment on this)
9:15 pm	Maybe the word QUIT is a bit too rash After a long time I realised that I am not really quitting DDR, but rather taking a break. So I was quite silly, but that's what you get for blurting out crap before you think about it. Anyhow Andrew came round in the morning, and we went back to his house, so that he could get an aplication form. He wants to work at Tunza Fun at TTP, I also grabbed Madonna's Immaculate collection so I could listen to it. We drove down to TTP because Ben would be working there, and we had a chat usual things. Andrew asked general questions, shows his interest. I also got some Sunway for lunch. I got home so I could prepare some stuff for Tafe tommorow, a public holiday but whoop di doo. hmmm off to have some popcorn Anth. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 15th, 2005
9:02 pm	Business Man or no? Church seemed full of people some what, and there enthusiasm is lacking, Bro Dad and I took up the collection, hmmmm no idea. I hadn't been to Westfield Marion shopping centre for 6 months, so I decided to go for the hell of it. Met up with Callan who I hadn't seen for a while, had a chat and then just headed of home. I finished my poem on the train ride home. Take a Chance Who's that girl, that shows up in a random place My thoughts are a twirl, when I see her face Although at first, I thought it was a coincidence Maybe it's an annoying curse, but that wouldn't make any sense After a length of time, I noticed a beauty not seen before although it's not a strength of mine, it's not something I mean to ignore It's a habit that time is wasted, putting of things to a later date until I think to face it, then to wait for fate It was across the way, I saw her on the train I really had lots to say, and I didn't want to restrain Deeply immersed in thought, the train ride had come to an end I wish more time could be bought, so to her a message I could send I am prepared to leave the train, but I new feeling takes hold I still believe I'm sane, this could make or brake my soul have I dismissed all fear, or am I a tool can I see crystal clear, or am I a fool Sp now right next to her I stand, and I wonder why I'm so calm pressure is gone when I hold out my hand, and she isn't alarmed I don't recall the words spoken, it all happened very fast I do have a memory of us joking, and that tomorrow I would see her before class Have fun all Anth (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 14th, 2005
8:58 pm	Your name is Anthony right? ummmm yeah I started cleaning the house as usual for a saturday, however I went into thought so I slowed down. It was the fact that I was online last night, and I was playing a game, and some people in the same game recognised me. Funny thing was they new my name and my nick, and they said they have seen me play DDR at Tea Tree Plaza. I was confused, I couldn't recall anyone, so I was questioning. That made my mind up, I quit DDR that's it, had enough. Andrew wanted me over for some card games, but at 5pm so after lunch I did something I never do, window shopping. It was funny, but I got sick of it after a while, and went to the library and started writing a poem. Then I got myself some Subway, then walked from Salisbury to Andrew's house. I walked in the rain, it was nice, I quite enjoyed it. It was only drizzle and so more ideas flowed for poem. I arrived in 20 mins, and yes I am invincible, I don't think I will catch a cold. Simon was already there and they asked why I was carrying my notebook, i said it was my poem book. Then it was Simon who said to Andrew, there someone who can write you your song lyrics. Eventually Adrian and Jason arrived, and so we played some poker and jacks. Maybe some normal sleep Anth (Comment on this)
1:16 am	Who am I If you are reading this please fill in the survey 1. Who are you? 2. Are we friends? 3. If we’ve met, when and how did we meet? 4. What social event or place would you like to go to with me? 5. Would you kiss me? 6. Describe me in one word. 7. What was your first impression? 8. Do you still think that way about me now? 9. What reminds you of me? 10. If you could give me anything what would it be? 11. How well do you know me? 12. When’s the last time you saw me? 13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t? 14. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you? (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 13th, 2005
9:37 pm	End of week end of the week again, and it was a ho hum one at that Wrote another poem again, I wonder where all this is coming from SPOKEN WORDS It's easy to speak from the heart, when I know your in a distant place but I become weak and fall apart, when we come face to face conversations behind closed doors, are the ones that make me feel at rest no crowd of people, no cause, for me to be embarrassed It is freedom of speech, that I constantly desire It seems out of reach, and of that I tire I am more cautious with spoken phrases, it's criticism I avoid Makes no sense like a broken maze, I don't care but their words I am annoyed There is a fine line, between being in hall of fame When I speak my mind, to being shot down in a ball of flames This was in regards to yesterdays feeling Anyhow I am off Anth (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 12th, 2005
11:08 pm	Shall I continue the facade? I have noticed, taking a step back to examine myself, that I am very cautious with my words in conversations and such. It's not like I care what others think, I know they have judged me, and they probably will. However with my wording, I can avoid added rubbish that I know is crap, but still nevertheless make me feel bad for even speaking. Well it has rubbed off, and may very soon quit playing DDR, all because I would rather avoid even hearing comments about me. I just can't live my life in peace, and it's all just to suit other people. It's not like I am doing anything to hurt anyone, but because I am not communicating to them on there terms, that's it I am evil man number one. No matter what I do, it's gonna be hard, but it's best thing at the moment. Hari came around in the morning since work at Holden's doesn't start until 3 pm. We had a chat, he ate lunch with us. After lunch we drove to TTP, met Ben who I hadn't seen for more than week. Ben seemed in good spirits, even though he just came from the dentist, who told him he has to get his wisdom teeth removed. That was it for the day. A poem that suits my situation at the moment CHANGE AGAINST WILL There are those who would like to change forcefully, against your will their actions are that of a coarse bully, when their activity's done they have had their fill they hate when others succeed, and state opinion as fact they should take heed, when their opinion is hijacked They do this of their own will, it fills the holes of their daily routine threatened they will feel, as I have beaten them to their own dream They are limited by their ignorance, they refuse to learn they are never quick to glance, at all the bridges they have burned These people don't care enough, to think outside the square of that I am aware, but to others it's not fair there is a new fad, every other week, something to catch their attention once through with that, another they will seek, and will never learn from such a lesson there is a mess of nonsense, about how they strive to be great once questioned they are less honest, and even lie to their own mates didn't realise they were deceptive, wolf in sheep's outfit my eyes weren't receptive, was fooled unable to see, vision clouded I was suckered into a scam, which I thought was a favour now that I am stuck I think damn, this moment he will savour forever I have severed connections, and wipe my slate clean cause it was never my intention, to have these hate dreams. Anyhow off to eat some chocolate Anth (2 Comments |Comment on this)